Blog 1 - My Mentoring Philosophy

“The proper aim of education is to promote significant learning. Significant learning entails development. Development means successively asking broader and deeper questions of the relationship between oneself and the world. This is as true for first graders as graduate students, for fledging artists as graying accountants. “

(Laurent A. Daloz (20th century), U.S. educator. Effective Teaching and Mentoring, ch. 9 (1986).)

The statement above epitomizes my philosophy on personal success. That is to also say that I believe continual learning is the key to being a well balanced, successful individual. Consistently evaluating and subsequently learning from what you assess has tremendous value in developing one’s self. Nonetheless, even the most self-reflective folks can use a mentor; someone to listen to them, to synthesize with, to glean from, and from which to learn. Of course, in order to find someone capable of mentoring well, one must find an individual who is reflective themselves; not an easy task if you ask me. However, discussing the benchmarks that define a mentoring relationship I find a bit easier to accomplish.

First and foremost are the skills necessary for a mentor to possess: adaptability, a good listener, the ability to assess the big picture, open-minded, and self-reflective. I view these skills as necessary because without them, it is much easier to fall into the common pitfalls of a mentoring relationship.

The unfortunate truth is that many of us find it hard to sincerely evaluate ourselves; to take a step back and really look at whether or not our behavior and interactions are the best they can truly be or if they need improvement. It is genuine self evaluation, married with the ability to synthesize the larger picture that creates a mentor able to provide a sound, successful environment for growth. Without these traits the relationship can often turn sour; mentors feel overwhelmed, mentees feel like a burden and remain unchanged. People are complicated creatures and relationships, especially mentoring relationships, need the flexibility for open communication and subsequent change when necessary. Moreover, when a mentor lacks the ability to sagely see the big picture in how their mentee relates to the world around them, they set themselves up for an unsuccessful mentoring relationship. However, if the mentor is a good listener and can amalgamate the subtleties they hear from their mentee along with pulling from what they already know, then they can easily side step yet another common pitfall. Lastly, providing a welcoming, sincere, and truthful environment for the mentee is crucial. If the mentee is reluctant to begin with (which as I stated before is not uncommon as most individuals find even self-improvement to be a battle, not to mention having another person help) than any environment that isn’t completely welcoming will most likely end in failure. That’s not to say that the mentor should not ever challenge their mentee but building a strong foundation first through providing a welcoming environment is key to creating a successful mentoring relationship.

As I see it, the nature in which a mentoring relationship is born is all encompassing. Friends, family, teachers, coaches, bosses, co-workers, all are possible mentors. The factor that sets a mentoring relationship apart is its endless reciprocity; the give and take, dialogue and discourse, sincerity and caring that promotes a rich environment for both involved to grow and flourish.

In this age of technology, the act of mentoring faces both challenges and opportunities. Essentially it is up to us to decide if we will utilize all we have before us, technology or otherwise, to further develop our ability to be self-reflective and self-directed in our personal development. For, as I stated, the key to creating a truly sustainable, positive mentoring relationship is through each individual’s ability to challenge their own thinking. Technology can either help or hinder this goal.

There is much to question where technology is concerned. It has distanced some of us from the face to face interaction which has proven to be quite helpful in learning about one’s self and others. Conversely, technology has opened up endless opportunity for individual’s to display themselves more freely than what’s normally possible in day to day interactions through the development of profiles within networking sites and games that use customized avatars. However, as much as technology has encouraged people to express themselves, we must utilize our own initiative to view and digest those we encounter digitally, as we would face to face, to further our personal development. Put simply, it’s up to you.

Beyond this philosophical view, I believe technology creates even greater opportunity for mentoring relationships in regards to interaction and chances for growth. The key is being aware of how technology differs from other forms of interaction especially when used for mentoring purposes. To begin, since much of our communication is done through body language, technology can create a breeding ground for miscommunication and misunderstanding if left unaddressed. However, if the issue is addressed effectively a new opportunity arises. Creating a dialogue surrounding the fact that technology might hinder clear communication creates a consistently open talking point focused toward better understanding. Moreover, technology provides individuals the occasion to communicate exponentially; if clear communication is a continual focus, than technology simply provides more opportunity to do so which leads to more involvement and thus more mentoring.